It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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