"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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