Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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