so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
