with your own penis?
butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Randomize
