Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
