i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
