apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
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then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
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The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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