im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
