Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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