Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
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