You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize