i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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