can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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