btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like having sex with a tree stump
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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