Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
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Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
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Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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