i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
