like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize