Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed