we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs