I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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