I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.