So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
