He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
