the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
