Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
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