This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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