I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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