he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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