I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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