Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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