all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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