he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
