can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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