if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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