hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
