Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Well I just put wine in my tea
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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