I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize