friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
