i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
