I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You're like the curious george of whores
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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