i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
