i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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