Ambien. No doubt about it.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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