Screwed.edu
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
