Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
