I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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