I want to make a zoo with you.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost the right to judge tonight
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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