How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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