I'm lost and stupid without you.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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