so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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