I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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