On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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