Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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