thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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