you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
