i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
