I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
