This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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