she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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